4th of July Weekend....

I was surfing a dating site one day and came across “Johns” profile and thought “I’m going to say Hi to him, he’s pretty good looking and his stats seem good”. Emails went back and forth before I gave him my number. They always had fun banter in them but something seemed off to me the minute he started texting me. Sometimes I would get random “love” poems, or deep insightful quotes but I looked past them and agreed to go out on a date. I didn’t realize how desperate he was in finding a life long mate until the day of our “Date”.

He came over with a dozen white rose (how cute….) and a DVD of “Twilight” music videos he compiled (have I watched it yet?....FUCK NO, I have a life). After I finished getting ready I noticed he was sweating profusely, apparently he’s had this problem ever since he could remember (thanks for telling me John!). We made our way to the Skyroom (VERY FANCY) and had dinner and drinks there. The conversation was light but also very awkward because he kept looking at me like I was food! He made a comment about my choice in food because what I ordered happened to be the cheapest thing on the menu. What can I say, I like artichoke ravioli and it was amazing! Shoot it better be for the price! Afterwards I suggested we go up to the bar (I was dying for a drink!). While we sat there he hands me a poem…..again…..O_O So I acted as though I read it and politely gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek, even threw in a “thank you”. We went back to my place and watched a movie, made out, things got a little hot and heavy and I said let’s go back to your place because my roommate is home. Got to his house and noticed that he still lives with his parents….O_O. Has 2 dogs, a lizard, fish, eels….what next! The guy also smokes quite a bit of freakin weed.....not cool. His bed was tiny as could be with blankets, covered in stars and moons. After the color was back in my face we proceeded to do the deed…..well guess what? He was so nervous he couldn’t get “it” up. With much frustration I decided it would be better to go to bed. Next day we went to the Improv, apparently this guy doesn’t laugh cause he just sat there smiling….O_o I mean really, who goes to a comedy show to sit there and smile?! Went back to his place and tried to do the deed again without success! WTF! I mean come on really? The guy has a half naked woman lying on his bed and yet he can’t get it up! At this point I tell him “look if you feel like you’re under a lot of pressure we can take it slow, but don’t start anything you aren’t going to finish!” with that I went to bed. Woke up on 4th of July and had him take me home.

Spent some time with the roomy and then we hit the city walk (howl at the moon to be precise). Was introduced to “Jose” who became utterly obsessed with me (has a huge thing for Asians). He bought me & my roomy drinks all night and the minute I started talking to someone else he got all “Machismo” about it. Meaning jealous and macho (typical Hispanic behavior). This new person “David” and I were just talking about random stuff, no flirting was involved but Jose was drunk. Tells me “should I leave you two alone?, you look like you’re having a great time with him, you like bald guys?, maybe I should shave my head bald for you so you’ll like me!”. At this point I’m waiting for his friend to come and save him but he never did so I said “if you want to leave then get the fuck outta here, cause right about now you’re fuckin up my sober night!” with that he left the patio and just stared at me and this new guy all night long from inside. At the end of the night I gave David my number and now we have a date…LOL.

Got home to see that Jose called me numerous times and text me, apparently he needed a ride home and was pissed that I didn’t consider taking him home. WTF! I’m not a fuckin taxi asshole! The next day he texts me to apologize for his behavior, like that’s really going to help his case. I told him to fuck off and went about my day at the Glen Ivy Spa. It was amazing and relaxing minus John….yes I know you’re probably thinking I had cut him out of the picture but I just couldn’t pass up the offer of a Spa Day! I’ve never been to a spa and I figured it’s the least he could offer since the guy couldn’t get it up and left me all frustrated! Now I know how guys feel…lol. Now I am officially done with John and waiting on my date with David next Thursday. Let’s see how this goes……